Re: How to break up with someone you love
This is a reply to: How to break up with someone you love by folkmoss
5yrs ago or so, I left a relationship where both of us loved each other dearly. To this day I still think of her, she was great and I hope I don't find her again as I don't know what I'll do.
It was easier for me than it will be for you, due to distance.
I'm from Puerto Rico (PR) she is too. I left to Missouri during that relationship to start a job there. COVID started, we continued our relationship long distance. It was always great. We talked everyday, we did stuff together, sent letters to each other, etc. I knew I was coming back to PR at some point.
But there was a ghost on our relationship. We cannot marry or live together. She is Christian. Very. I could care less about it, and had actually left religion officially during that relationship. So we can't marry, as I'm not Christian, we can't live together, as we're not married. This haunted me. I knew we were going nowhere, even though there was so much love, understanding, even though we were basically best friends in love, soulmates. There was no future.
Then why stay? 10yrs were going to pass, we were going to be together, but stuck. I tried church, but I don't believe that nonsense anymore. I did not judge though, that's her beliefs, but it wasn't for us to stay in this boat, when the boat is just floating with nowhere to get to.
I had to talk about it first. "We have no future, then why should we be together if we will never even live together"
I ended the relationship. Cried for months, kept contact with her for a while. I came back to PR to visit, we talked, no change in sight, we stayed separate.
I decided to return to PR and managed to keep my job remotely, but did stop contact with her. It worked.
My life went on. Quit job, stayed unemployed for a while, met someone. Got an even better job here. New relationship was different, weird, took a shile to get used to, but its working great now. Been with here 3 or so years. I don't know why I stayed to be honest, but glad I did so far. The other end of the spectrum.
I'm definitely on a much better place, no need to hide my disbelief, no need for guilt.
It gets worse before it gets better. But it does gets better. If you're stuck somewhere and know how to get unstuck, why fear the exit? It might hurt, but it's for the best.
There's only one life to live, but there are many days to enjoy.